I went to the doctor on Wednesday via my incredible cleverness. It's a long story, but lets just say my "insurance" isn't really insurance but rather a government funded "benefits plan" and therefore some cleverness is required. I can go see any doctor for $5 provided it is for something previously undiagnosed. Like a cold or a sinus infection. Or, in my case, this mysterious lump on my collar bone that I worry about and then don't worry about in turns. However, there are no rules that say that, while there, I can't have him refill my thyroid medicine prescription, check out my eczema issues, and give me some advice on my headaches. 45 minutes later, I had eight prescriptions waiting for me (I just love competing with the elderly ladies in line to see who needs the most bags) at my local Walgreens and, interestingly enough, no longer have eczema. Instead I have psoriasis. This is interesting because it means several things. 1) I have been misdiagnosed my whole life, 2) all medications I have ever used were only minimally effective because they were prescribed for the wrong disease, 3) I don't have severe eczema, but rather mild psoriasis, and finally, 4) I have, essentially, a doctors note to go to a tanning salon. Sunlight, and that wonderful vitamin D, are one of the best ways to combat psoriasis. Tanning! Sunlight! I am pleased. Also, there appear to be very well documented connections between psoriasis and gluten intolerance. So there's that too.

My doctor also gave me several samples of migraine pills to try out to see if any of them worked out better than the stuff he has prescribed me before. If "worked out better" means an immediate and ridiculous high while at work, then yes. Yes they did. I took a pill right before going into a meeting and spent the whole meeting trying to turn peoples speech into haiku. My notes from the meeting are intelligible. At one point, I got up to go to the bathroom and checked my pupils. They were there, alright, though they seemed to have crowded out my irises. It was a little intense and I was grateful that my office-boss let me go home to sleep it off after lunch.

In other news, I spent the last hour or so at work looking up the British Royal Family. Quiz me. I know all the answers. Except for maybe order of succession. That confuses me.

Also, we've killed Osama Bin Laden.

Obviously this is an amazingly complex issue, and the wars won't stop, and we aren't any safer, but can't we all agree that it was necessary and a great accomplishment of one of our national goals? Instead, fuhbook-the-all-expressive is lit up today with incredibly sanctimonious Bible quotations.

To share a few:

‎"Do not gloat when your enemy falls; when he stumbles, do not let your heart rejoice". Proverbs 24:17 (NIV)

For I take no pleasure in the death of anyone, declares the Sovereign LORD. Repent and live! Ezekiel 18:32

I'm not against this. The Bible does say all these things. What bothers me is when people ignore these issues in our every day activities as a country (oh, I don't know, increasing our defense budget while decreasing our social services), and then whip out the Bible when it's time to be glib towards the government. Ridiculous. Stop using the Bible only when it is convenient, you smug bastards!

The Fall

There are a lot of things going on.
Since I last posted:
Starbucks transitioned to Christmas (or half transitioned. We're brewing "thanksgiving blend". Christmas blend comes in about twenty days.).
I was sick for five days.
I got over being sick just in time to watch us get a new President. I cried a little and got laughed at a little. I am thrilled.

Now comes the decision about what to do with my HOPE posters. I always intended to take them down if Obama was elected because I am not one to have pictures of a government figure up in my house. Unless it is in jest, I suppose. I would definitely have pictures of government figures up in my house in jest. I am that kind. I suppose he was always a government figure as well, albeit a minor one. But now! Now he is a major government figure and I should take the posters down. However, the posters have morphed a little and one now boasts the head of Samuel L. Jackson, and this is hilarious and a glorious display of my own cleverness. If I take down the other two, this third does not make sense. But if I leave up the other two I look like a fanatic. I've always liked the posters a lot. That may be understating it. I harbor a secret love for these posters, but not necessarily because of who they are representing. Many people have not liked them so much, saying they looked like communist leader posters, which is unnerving for some reason, or that its audacious to attach the word "hope" to someone other than Christ. I would be thrilled if they looked slightly more like communist propaganda, and especially if they had some sort of non sequiter face attached. Like Paul Bunyan. Or Kierkegaard. Or Dame Maggie Smith. I think I would absolutely, with no reservations or secrets, love those posters. Hence the transition to Samuel L. I used to tell people that I wished they had three different faces on them; Barack Obama, Samuel L. Jackson, and Morgan Freeman. That would make them perfect in my eyes.

That is not what I wanted to talk about. Not it at all.

What I wanted to talk about was a movie.
When I was sick this last week my friend Justin graciously loaned me his copy of season one of Pushing Daisies. It pretty much saved my sanity. I would suggest Pushing Daisies to pretty much any and everyone. If you like pretty, fanciful, Witty, amusing, heartwarming television full of whimsy this is the show for you. Its fantastic. Rarely do I suggest television as there are so many other lovely and constructive ways to spend your time and interact with the world but in this case I make a suggestion.
To get to the point, Pushing Daisies stars the incredibly talented Lee Pace. In searching through his career I discovered a reference to the film "The Fall" which came out this past summer but which nobody ever heard about. I was intrigued. We rented "The Fall" and watched it two evenings ago. I will try to explain.

Quite simply, there are things in life that encourage you simply because the exist. Leaves that change colors and swirl; hot oatmeal on cold mornings, Franny and Zooey by J.D. Salinger, laughter, when you can see your breath, etc. These are things that, though small and seemingly insignificant, you live for; things that make life worth it. I would argue, and please do not think me over dramatic, that The Fall belongs on this list. The very fact of its existence makes life slightly more worthwhile.
It is a huge, sweeping film in which the lines between fantasy and reality are very clearly drawn but in which the story wavers back and forth. Its beautiful, sad, glorious, hilarious, and intense.

There are a lot of things that I want to say about it, but wont because I want you to watch it and love it on your own. Please do. Its rated R for some undisclosed reason. Absolutely undeserved.

After we were done watching it my roommate (who has been trying to get me to watch The Rock for a while now) looked at me and said,
"Well, if you loved this you'll love The Rock. Its all about stunts too."
"Stunts!?" I said incredulously, "You think this movie was about stunts?!?"
"Lots of them, yes." He said.
"Were we watching the same film? It was about love," I said. "And courage, and self knowledge!"
"Love and stunts are like two sides of the same coin." TJ offered.
"Yeah," Said Kris, "Toss it up, catch it when it comes down. Whats it going to be? Love? Cool. Stunts? Awesome."
"Two sides of the same coin." TJ said.

Autumnal

I am sleeping under blankets again. Weather is so fluxiuary in Texas (take that Steven Colbert or G.W. Bush). It was 80 degrees at 2pm today and then by 4:30pm it was 61. It is the season of multiple light layers or a change of clothes constantly on hand.

There are a lot of small things happening. Joyful dances, good dinners, intentional communing, harvests, funerals (a raccoon got one of our chickens), homecomings, blossoms, bees, bounty, color, space, laughter, children, and wind. Lots of small things. My life is an obvious sum of its parts. I am very glad. I think a lot of people strive for that sort of life.

I am finding a lot of joy in freerice.com. They have several trivia type pages which allow you to donate rice through the UN by your right answers. One of the trivia pages is on artistic masterpieces. It may sound silly but even this small addition to my life makes me deeply joyful. These paintings have been speaking to peoples souls for hundreds of years. They speak to mine now. I am learning.

Roommate Kris is home from California finally. I missed him. We are still working our research job for Baylor with very little enthusiasm. Its a disheartening project. We will keep on, I suppose.

All of the sudden I see myself with adult friends. I know this sounds silly. I am twenty five. My friends have three, four, and five year old children. We quite obviously have been adults for a while. It is just recently that I feel like an adult in my church, and adult in my work (at least one of them), and an adult within my friends.

I'm not going to talk about politics, though I feel like I could. There is a lot of dissension amongst the people that I love. I am voting early, voting strongly, feeling very content in my choice, but I am hoping that, once this is all over in a couple weeks, we wont have to talk about it anymore.

Be here now

I am listening to Michelle Obama speak at the national convention in Denver. I find political speeches incredibly overwhelming. They shed such light on the mess that we're in. The promises made are amazing reflections of our deep need. There is such a huge gap between what is needed and what seems possible. I hope they accomplish even half of what they're making us believe in. Its a great speech. I'm a little teary eyed.

I... well.

I am over employed. I just got my third job... which I am excited about. Tired, but excited. I can't probably keep this up for very long, but for now... well. For now.

Our chickens laid their first egg!

I am trying to feel the same way about Jesus as I do about Ray Lamontagne. I just... I. So, thats all.