Today is my birthday. I am 28 and remarkably similar to myself at 27. At least so far. Since I've been sick all week and mostly feeling crummy, I don't have any plans for my birthday except eating Thai food and going to see x men. This is fine. This is a plenny-good plan for my birthday. However, if I had all the time and energy and money and connections in the world and could plan the ultimate shindig, I would do it. Actually, I would probably save it until I was 30. But, I think you understand.
Since I was physically unable to plan said shindig this year, I will, instead, utilize the glory of the internet and show you, here, my internet crafted approximation. Guess what? It's gonna be
Guess what else? You're invited!
First of all, there will be dancing. And I am hopeful that Bjork will be there. And if she wants to bring her husbandcat, then SO MUCH THE BETTER!
Just so you all know, this is from one of the best music videos of all time. Also, take note of the part where Bjork tries to do a "cat dance (at least, that is my interpretation of what is happening. She's cleaning herself. Like a cat. Right?) and the cat, in trying to copy her, looks totally crazy, like he's slow motion swimming or something.
Also, Greta Gerwig would be there. With cake.
For me. Probably, at this party, I would also be able to eat the cake. So we will assume its gluten free, but also delicious, because I don't even really dig cake all that much under normal
circumstances, so if it is gf, it has all sorts of
things stacked against it.
If you don't know who Greta Gerwig is YOU ARE MAKING ME SAD. And it's my birthday, so I suggest you stop. She is my new favorite actress. Also, she is adorable. And wearing a crown. And a dress that looks like it is an ostrich. She was also born in 1983 which means two things. One) we are year twins, and Two) she is much more accomplished than I. And yet, I still want her at my party.
I am also hopeful that something like this will transpire. I found this picture on the internet by googling "giraffe people." I kid you not. If you don't believe me, you can go try it for yourself. If you are surprised that I would be googling "giraffe people", then you maybe don't know me as well as you think. It is my birthday, after all.
There is something incredibly dirty about the words "fig" and "cocktail" as a compound word but, wonderfully, when combined they create an amazing actual thing. A fig cocktail. I've never had one, but I am entirely convinced that they are my favorite beverage. Mostly because of the color. I think.
Some other party happenings:This is Chan Marshall of Cat Power SNUGGLING into the beard of Kyp Malone of TV on the Radio. I'm sorry. WHAT? This exists in the world, and has happened at least once and I was not told of it! Fixed. They will come to my party and do this. Done.
Dear Mr. Cosby, night and day, please.
And this. Of course.