Wednesday, September 23, 2009

I was like a statue at most

So, I'm not very good at writing in here these days. The internet has been restored at our home, so this should be made easier.

What? It's been raining and raining and raining and things are wonderfully wet. Grayness makes me sad-ish, if I let it. I'm trying not to. I am enjoying the days at home with the baby. Being in our big, widowed house and watching the rain startle our chickens has a sort of cathartic affect. It's nice of weather to do that for me. In Benjamin, I am learning how to love. Amazing how infants change your life.

I am still busy, still learning, still trying to be better everyday. Mostly failing at that last bit. I am getting comfortable with my failings, you know.

I am also continually making new friends. This is exhausting. I have one, single free evening a week and there are too many people in the rotation. If I never see you again, this is why.

I am going to two really great shows in the next week and a half. Ben Folds and Sunny Day Real Estate. Worth all the trouble, schedule shifting, and class missing. So worth it.

I want to go to Tennessee next month to visit a friend. I feel like Tennessee is worth seeing in October. I am trying to deduce whether its worth the effort and effort and effort. I think it is.

I am still relationshipped. And I have created a new word. This is an interesting experience for me. Drew and I have been friends for years, and we were really close before we started dating, but I am realizing now that we have created two interesting dilemmas by the way in which we started our relationship.
Firstly, we were common participants in only one specific group of people before we dated. This is fine, however now, we have so many people that do not overlap. It makes life awkward. Secondly, we bonded so well prior to dating partially because we both filled the same specific role within that previously stated group of friends. We are the jokesters. This is fine, and fun, and a nice beginning, but as we grow as boyfriendy/girlfriendy, it is obviously not enough. There has to be seriousness and challenges and discussions. We're learning this.
It has been interesting, at 26, to see how much of myself I have created in the last couple of years. They have been immeasurably formative. In contact with Drew - another strong, self aware individual - it has become clear that, in not knowing each other these last couple years, we have missed out on a lot. It's amazing to see how people grow, and how people must grow together.

Anyway, I am happy and well. For the most part. Thyroid issues remain as they have been. I go to the endocrinologist next month.

Funnily, in spell checking this entry, I am made aware of how very many words I create and use commonly. I am altering our language.

1 comment:

Kim said...

funnily is real word right? i say it all the time. plus, in inventing words i have found that if you just hyphenate them, spell check doesn't even notice! take that webster. love you and all your words, as always, your faithful and equally verbose friend!